i lost .

it's only 2 months into the year of 2015 ,

the things i've learnt in this 2 months changed my whole entire life .

i learnt that words are cheap ,

i fell hard for words and i believed in it ,

i got myself in deep shit ,

i chased like a fool ,

i believe that me giving in and changing can make things work ,

but yea ,

it takes 2 hands to clap ,

it can't work if i'm the only one trying ,

while another trying to make a big fuss out of little things .

i've learnt to appreciate people around me too ,

things they've done for me ,

advices that they gave me ,

and warnings they gave me .

especially those who stayed in my life despite it being a messy ,

and helping me to open up to the world .

lastly ,

i finally learnt to put down my pride and give in ,

but it din't turn out good .

i'm like a fool chasing for something that will never happen ,

after when i thought chasing it like a fool helps ,

i realised that i got used ,

used to spice up those lonely days of that person .

either way , i'll still continue giving in if i have to ,

i can't risk to lose anyone in my life ever again .

i can't believe that my life is changed so much because of one person .

despite that person is the one who hurts me that most ,

but it's also the one who taught me most .

i was taught to chase for what i want ,

and i listened ,

i gave in ,

but to the wrong person .

well , i guess i wouldn't have learnt so much if i didnt listen and give in .

people called it a love story even though it doesn't end happily ever after tgt ,

i called it a 'lesson' .

the lesson costed me a person who doesn't give up on me ,

and constantly warning me about taking the risk ,

giving me words that are for my own good..

i lost this game ,
to a person that i first gave in to .